The past is in the past start Anew!
by Anime S-J
Summary: Ritsu is still hung about his past love in America and could not seem to forget about it. Takano,still being persistent is trying to make him fall in love again. However there are some obstruction between their love. Will Takano find out about his past love? Will Ristu be able to accpet Takano again?
1. Chapter 1

**Just to clear misconception. Ritsu DID fall in love with Takano during High-school FIRST. When he left for America, he was heartbroken and decided not to fall in love again. However, One guy was able to change that. He started to fall for him,little by little but an ACCIDENT happened and he return to Japan shortly after it happen.**

**Just another story. Hope its better than the previous one. ENJOY:)**

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CHAPTER 1

As each day went by, Ritsu is getting more confused. "_Do I still have feelings for HIM?_" It was a question he thought everyday. "I_ know I still have feelings for him but..._" He tried to immerse himself with loads of work to forget about this. Eveything was cramp in that tiny brain. He felt that he was about to break down. It was hard enough being a manga editor since this is the first time he is doing it , what's more he had to deal with all these feelings for his boss. He was on the verge of tears but he would never let it show. He didn't want people to think that he is weak.

It was already past midnight and he was the only one left in the building. Even his boss has gone home."_Lucky he has gone home if not I would have to deal with him again._" Ritsu let out a sigh of relief.

The sun expired to envelope the world in street was deserted, there was not a single soul out there. Many would be scared to walk alone in the dark however Ritsu was not bother by was nothing compared to what he had been through. That was like eternal darkness, the feeling of loneliness, never ending.

Ritsu was walking along the deserted street while checking his phone. He noticed that he marked tomorrow as an important day on his calendar. He just could not remember but he knows that its important. Couldn't remember, he just cast the thought aside.

As the train station has already close about few hours ago, he took a longer way home. As he passed by the empty streets, the sweet scent from the sakura trees engulfed him. It feels so nostalgic as if he was at the same place again and his mind just sort of lets go of everything and feels all tingly and outdated like looking at old vintage things.

Upon reaching his door step, he remembered. All those horrible thoughts appear again. Tears trickling down his cheeks. The blank, emotionless expression swept over his face as the realization of the moment gradually seeped in. The fear seemed to rise behind his eyes. Paralyzed by the tragic feeling of loneliness,he gently whispered to himself, "_Haitani!_ ."

Too immerse in his thoughts, he didn't notice his boss was outside, moreover, waiting for him. Takano got shocked by the sight of it. "What happened? " Takano asked, concern about him. Rubbing away his tears, "Its nothing. I'm okay, thanks for your concern. " He pushed Takano away but to no avail. Takano just pulled him in and kiss him passionately.

" Stop! Stop this!" He tried to say in between moans. When Takano finally let go, Ritsu step back and broke down. "Stop doing this! I have had enough of this. Do you even consider how I feel?!" Before Takano could reply, Ritsu started again. " No! You never! You only did what you wanted! Ritsu shouted. Takano look with eyes opening as wide as an ocean. He has always tease him before but had never seen him this angry. Takano step forward to hold him but was slapped away by him. " Don't touch me! You don't have the rights! You don't even know anything about me and you say you love me?! Don't be ridiculous!" Ritsu let out a small laugh.

Leaving a astonish Takano outside the corridor, Ritsu ran inside his apartment and started crying his heart out. He could not hold back any longer, remembering all those things in the past had made him fall apart again. It was so unbearable, the images of the past keep flashing through his mind. Those were the most happy moments of his life and he wish it could stay that way forever however in reality not all would have a fairytale ending. And unfortunately, he was not the lucky ones.

He hated himself, how he wish he was the one that could leave this world. If he could go back in time, he could have stop it from happening. It took him a long time to forgot about him but now it seems that he is back to square one.

" Haitani! Haitani, why did you leave?!" Ritsu cried out. " I..if..., if...I could. .s...stop..." His tears just kept flowing like a broken tap. He shivered as fear took over him. His shiny amour that once protected him is now starting to fall apart. Slowly he's letting his emotions get the best of him.

For the rest of the night , he just sat there crying himself to sleep. Thinking about those sweet moments with Haitani.

Meanwhile outside at the corridor, Takano was taken aback by Ritsu sudden break down. He wanted to go and comfort him but he knows that it would just cause him more grief. So a wise choice was to just let him be alone until he has calm down. It hurts him to watch His Ritsu being so sad but could not do anything about it .

**NEXT DAY**

Morning arrived sooner than the anyone have expected. Takano went through another round of his morning routine before embarking on his journey to work. He wanted to knock on his neighbour's door to see whether his Ritsu has heal from yesterday's break down however a call cut through his thoughts. " What do you want so early in the morning?! Yokozawa." It was Yokozawa on the phone, he wanted to remind the raven to buy the rose for HIM before coming to work. And so he went off without waking the brunette, thinking that he is probably asleep. "_He should be in office before I go to work._" Takano thought.

However, what Takano did not know was that Ritsu had already gone out even before the break of dawn.

**IN THE EMERALD DEPARTMENT**

Takano has just came to work with a fresh bouquet of flowers in his hands. No one questioned him as they knew who it was for and did not really want Takano to remember those bad memories.

Takano noticed that Onodera's seat was empty so he questioned the others," Have anyone of you saw Onodera?" "Nope. Maybe he's out with his girlfriend~." Kisa san joke. This irritates Takano to the core. " He wouldn't dare!" He thought. "I just heard that his has taken a day off." Hatori strolled in and said.

" _He's still..._" Mino cut off his thoughts. "Takano san did you know what happened to him. You know, he has been acting very weirdly recently." "No. I don't. " Takano lied, knowing that he must be the cause. "But that never happened before when I tease him. Maybe I have cross the line this time. I'll drop by later to check on him. " Takano cast the thought aside and went back to his work.

**AFTER WORK**

"You ready?" Yokazawa appeared out of no where and asked. " Give me a sec." Takano gathered his things and dumped it into his bag. " The faster I get this done with ,the faster I can go home." "Where's He?" Takano didn't need to asked who he refers to. "Day off" Takano reply bluntly. "You gave it?" "Would never." The conversation died off as they walked towards their destination.

As the moonlight casts its eerie shadow on the path that lie ahead, the two went in the huge patch of land labelled, "GRAVEYARD".The fog hangs on the stones of the dead like a heavy, suffocating sheath, casting a relentless misery on all who trespass through it as death welcomes them breath by breath. The deafening silence is pierce through by the shrieks of blackened crows. The tomb stones were neatly align in a straight row, one after another. These stones of cold withering cement witnessing the tears of laughter, and tears of guilt awaiting every shadow's lament.

It didn't took them long to find thy one, like they always did. However, upon reaching, a black figure kneeled there ,with cries filling the air.


	2. Chapter 2

**So here is Chap 2, I actually had it for quite awhile now.  
****I have re-uploaded Chap 1 as I forgot to put the thoughts in italics.**

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CHAPTER 2

RITSU

FLASHBACK- MORNING

Ritsu spent the whole night crying. And now his eyes are red, swollen and dry from all the crying. He woke up way before the break of dawn. Sleeping will just lead to more undesirable memories.

He took a quick bathe, took his sweater and took off. Everyone was still asleep and the corridor was very quite that you could hear a pin drop,even muffling the slightest sound.

He went to the flower shop to get Him some flowers. "_He loves roses and tulips._" As he walked through the lifeless streets, he began to think about the happy times that they spent together. Before he knew it tears were already rolling down "_Baka!_" he scolded himself. Even though he had scolded himself, he could not stop himself from crying while reviewing about the past .

Soon, he has reached his "loved" one. As the sun began to slowly rise, the darkness was lifted. The winds was blowing, the trees were swaying from left to right while the leaves was rustling, making the landscape so magical. However our brunet was not in wonderland, he was at the graveyard standing beside Him. Normally people would just put down the flowers and pray before leaving however our dear brunet was not intending to leave any time soon.

"How many years has gone?" He paused. "8 years?..." Tears stream his cheeks. Like fountains his eyes filled with tears. His eyes started to swell with tears of sorrow. Gasping and sniffling. " I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I wish I could have stop it. Sorry!" Ritsu just kept on apologising. But after a while he stopped. "I guess its no use. I can't bring you back now can I?" He let out a small laugh.

"All these years I have been so lonely. After you left me , my world envolpe in darkness once again. Shadow chasing for me. Running towards what seems like never ending darkness. I can't get out. I'm scared. I don't like this feeling of being lonely." "Pl...please... come back . Please!" Ritsu cried, like a helpless child stranded on a deserted island.

Even though he knew that HE won't ever come back, a part of him stills trying his best to believe. "If one believe hard enough, it may happen." But seriously have a dead been revive before. He had never once forget HIM but he also could not forget the other. They meant so much to him. He hated himself for being so fickle minded, hurting all those around him. "You should have led a better life if not for me and he should too." He said feeling remorse. Now that one of them is no longer here, would he crave for him now? Like what he done 8 years ago and hurt the other? Was he selfish for being like this?

Yes, most people would say. But no one understand a broken heart. After being hurt once by someone you truly love,you'll go crazy, not being your normal self, trying your best to change yourself for that person. Isn't that right?Love is when somebody gives you a shoulder to cry on. Love is somebody makes you laugh when you're sad. Love is when you miss someone whenever they are gone. Love is whenever you see that person you feel glad. You want them to smile. You would work extra just to be with that person. Even if it would be just for a while. Love is unconditional, that's the when someone there to lend you a shoulder, you'll definitely take it and make that person think you have fallen for him and now he'll try his best to make you his. Yet, you don't really love him...

Onodera Ritsu was one of them. But now after HE has left, he crave for HIM? "You never realize how important someone is in your life. Or the role that person plays in modelling you to that good nature. All this you'll realize when they are gone from you." He didn't knew what to do know. Should he move on or Will he be Able to move on? Love is hard to find, hard to keep, hard to forget. The real question is Who did he really love?

He was scared to move on because every time he was with someone it was either him or the other guy that got hurt. Was he born to jinx people? He wanted know his ending, will he be able to love again or...

But no one will ever know their own endings, life is like a never ending book, full of surprises, happiness, sadness and many other feelings. He hated himself for this.

"_So what? Feeling miserable, remorseful can bring him back?_" A voice chanted within him. "Y_ou should move on! Takano is still waiting! Do you want to hurt another person again!_" The voice just kept on continuing. "I_ don't... but how am I supposed to love him again and how am I supposed to forget him!" He cried out. Useless._ " You already know the answer my dear."

So the brunet sat on and kept on talking. Time really flies when you do not notice. Soon the azure blue sky change into a dark and gloomy sky.

The brunet got tired and looked at his watch. He didn't realise how late it was, he better have a good explanation for Takano for not going to work. He was gathering his things ready to make a move however, he hear footsteps coming his way... Louder and louder as the figures got closer and closer...

He stop his crying as THEY approach.


End file.
